Post by SORTING HAT ! on Dec 16, 2012 9:08:44 GMT -5
This application is PENDING!
So I have a few things for you. They really aren't too bad to fix, it is just a couple of things in the history and something that kind of contradicts the plot.
1) You forgot to add in a first sign of magic. I know that though the terms to get into Beauxbaton's Academy, a first sign of magic is required for all magical beings.
2) You could definitely add a little more on her life before the triwizard tournament. I understand that she was not truly a character at that point, but for role-play purposes she still has the history so it would be appreciated if you would add that in there. You can make the majority of it up, at least what you can't find on Wikipedia.
3) Because the Order and many of it's members are in hiding, it would be best that these two (Fleur and Bill) were too. Because Voldemort won, it is kind of an assumption that they wouldn't be safe, especially Bill, because his family has been deemed a blood traitor.
4) While she is a quarter veela, are you going to say that she is the rest Witch? In that case, please include that. Thank you!
5) Just so you know, there are three more words. They are scattered throughout the five posts. It may help if you just search ( or ) but please have another look. If you still cannot find them, just let me know.
Other than these things, you have an amazing application. I enjoyed reading it. Once you make these alterations, please post here. Thank you!
So I have a few things for you. They really aren't too bad to fix, it is just a couple of things in the history and something that kind of contradicts the plot.
1) You forgot to add in a first sign of magic. I know that though the terms to get into Beauxbaton's Academy, a first sign of magic is required for all magical beings.
2) You could definitely add a little more on her life before the triwizard tournament. I understand that she was not truly a character at that point, but for role-play purposes she still has the history so it would be appreciated if you would add that in there. You can make the majority of it up, at least what you can't find on Wikipedia.
3) Because the Order and many of it's members are in hiding, it would be best that these two (Fleur and Bill) were too. Because Voldemort won, it is kind of an assumption that they wouldn't be safe, especially Bill, because his family has been deemed a blood traitor.
4) While she is a quarter veela, are you going to say that she is the rest Witch? In that case, please include that. Thank you!
5) Just so you know, there are three more words. They are scattered throughout the five posts. It may help if you just search ( or ) but please have another look. If you still cannot find them, just let me know.
Other than these things, you have an amazing application. I enjoyed reading it. Once you make these alterations, please post here. Thank you!
